‘There is an elephant in the room’ each and every time I encounter situations that might potentially trigger memories of the past, I have lived a colourful life, and the scars have a tendency to surface when I’m under threat of backsliding into old familiar territory, I’m more sensitive to such adversity than I ever used to be and more and more guarded about finding myself in situations where anxiety and bad memories can stir negative reactions.
But the past remains with me in both good and bad measure. There were some crazy fun times and there were some terrifying and dark times but most of my past has become blurry now so only the emotional and physical scars remain.
The Abstract-A Colourful Past
This piece has the suggestion of the elephant in the room at the bottom left of the painting, not only is it an imposing figure for size and concept, the elephant depicts the weight of bad choices I carry with me everywhere I go. The colours chaotically bleed into one another as easily as they conflict with each other. The bright colours depict a time when every experience was new and the future looked more promising. The past is the colourful chaos, the present is the scratches and the elephant; the scratches in the paint depict the outcome of scars surfacing and the destructive nature of living through too much, too fast, too young. This is not a figurative piece but it is certainly a self-portrait. Some of the scratches are etched as though counting off the days in a tally which is intentional, they represent time spent wrestling with my demons in the solitude of my mind.